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Sometimes people say things without thinking. Rather than get offended I usually try to just brush it off. Sometimes though, it's a lot harder to brush it off. Especially when you've been letting it build up for awhile. When that happens all it takes is one comment and you can't brush it off anymore. You're done. You've had enough.
I had one of those moments this morning. It all started with these questions... Are you ever going to work? Or are you just going to keep reproducing? It's a good thing this was all in a letter I received, otherwise I totally would have flipped on the person. It has been bugging me all morning and so I'm venting.
First of all, it's not any of your business whether I go back to work or not. And how many and when I have children is also none of your concern. Chad and I are the only ones that need to be worried about it. Anyone who knows me knows that I would love to be in the classroom teaching. I miss the kids so much! But if I were teaching, who would take care of Cayden? Who would kiss his boo-boo's and play with him? I don't see you volunteering.
Chad and I made the decision that after Cayden was born I would stay home with him and Chad would finish school and work to support our family. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we have been told that
'...fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.'
--The Family: A Proclamation to the World
Chad and I have been lucky enough that we have been able to do that. Chad makes enough money to support our family. We have plenty for all of our needs and a few of our wants. We might not have everything we want (that will all come in time), but that's ok. We know that what we are doing is right for us.
As far as working goes, you're right. I never work; stay-at-home-moms (SAHM) have absolutely nothing to do. I personally sit around the house all day watching soap operas and eating bon bons. Since I don't work at all I have to do something with my time, like... planning and cooking meals, cleaning the house, shopping for groceries/other family needs, Cub Scouts, taking care of/playing with/nurturing/raising my son. No wonder you ask if I am ever going to work. *sarcasm totally intended :)* Are you kidding me?! Being a SAHM is no easy thing. It's exhausting and there is a ton of work to do.
It's just really frustrating. SAHM's have a bad wrap. People think it's cake. Like I said, I usually try to ignore these comments, but for some reason today it was hard not to. It's especially hard when it comes from someone you would expect to support you. Someone who should understand the importance of what I'm doing. Someone who you would think would feel the same way you do.
Well, I feel a lot better now. Venting really does help. Here is a video that I love. It helps remind me that what I'm doing is important.
As far as working goes, you're right. I never work; stay-at-home-moms (SAHM) have absolutely nothing to do. I personally sit around the house all day watching soap operas and eating bon bons. Since I don't work at all I have to do something with my time, like... planning and cooking meals, cleaning the house, shopping for groceries/other family needs, Cub Scouts, taking care of/playing with/nurturing/raising my son. No wonder you ask if I am ever going to work. *sarcasm totally intended :)* Are you kidding me?! Being a SAHM is no easy thing. It's exhausting and there is a ton of work to do.
It's just really frustrating. SAHM's have a bad wrap. People think it's cake. Like I said, I usually try to ignore these comments, but for some reason today it was hard not to. It's especially hard when it comes from someone you would expect to support you. Someone who should understand the importance of what I'm doing. Someone who you would think would feel the same way you do.
***
Well, I feel a lot better now. Venting really does help. Here is a video that I love. It helps remind me that what I'm doing is important.
5 comments:
When I was in Young Women's they would sometimes ask us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Fashion designer, business woman, accountant. I would always reply Mother. It seemed to me that no one knew what to say after that. Well, the church tells us motherhood is sacred. Why can't I aspire to that? I know how hard mother's work. Especially since I keep my own house now. I admire everything they do and still aspire to have children someday.
I love you, Amber. *hugs*
My sweet little sista-
I support you and think you are on the right track. You're doing such a great job as a wife and mommy. Take great pride in that. You are a smart educated, talented woman. You are trained and certified to teach others children, but you are in the right place taking care of yours.
Sometimes people say things...and they can be misunderstood...or maybe they have inner insecurities and they look for ways to get under others skins...
So hang in there sista. love, m
good for you! I'm a recent SAHM too. I lost my job and we decided that i should just stay home with our son. i too have been asked when i'm going back to work, and i simply say "i'm not"
i get funny looks and comments but we know what's best for our family.
It was important for me to work before we had Brighton, but now it's important for me to be with him.
Thanks for sharing.
www.naturemonster.com
Way to go, Amber!!! I spent an entire week with my brother, sister-in-law, and 11 month old niece, and I was amazed at how hard it is to keep up with that little person! I admire you for all that you do!
My mom had this happen to her when she had me and had to stop teaching as well. However, as I've learned from her, stay at home moms are the hardest working, smartest women in the world. If that's what you aspire to be then people should be amazed that you are willing to take on that much responsibility. They shouldn't look down on you simply because you won't go to work for a job that doesn't allow you to spend quality time with your family. And if they really start bugging you about it offer to have them come over and do what you do all day. haha :)
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